Powerlessness

Out of the depths have I called to you, O Lord; Lord, hear my voice; let your ears consider well the voice of my supplication.
—Psalm 130: 1

What does it mean to call to God “out of the depths”? Perhaps for each of us the answer is different, but for me it means being in deep despair. It means being filled with anxiety and fear, and not knowing which way to turn. It also means finally giving up control and admitting I cannot help myself.

I don’t know why it is so hard for me to do that—admit that I am powerless. The truth is, most of us are powerless most of the time, and it’s an illusion to think otherwise. But we try so hard to take care of people and things and ourselves. I can remember so many times when I tried to shut out the reality that I didn’t want to face. And finally, “out of the depths,” I called to God. 

Out of those depths, I was able to acknowledge my humanity, my heartache, my selfishness. And, out of those depths, I let myself soften and finally receive the love and acceptance God was waiting to give me. 

I wonder: what would life be like if I were more conscious of God’s presence? Why do I so often wait until I am in the depths of despair or in the grip of acute anxiety before I call out to God? 

Most loving God, we thank you for the gift of life. May we honor that gift by living more aware of your presence, and more thankful for your love. Amen.

Copyright © 2009 Margaret Jones.